I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
