One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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