Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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