Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize