does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
