I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize