You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
