so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize