Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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