Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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