he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
