he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
