first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
