You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
