I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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