It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
