last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
