wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
