I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
