all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
