there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize