all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Shame - the story of my life.
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