Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
