Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
