shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
