Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
