I swear she didn't look like that last week.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
