it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
jump out the window naked night went bad
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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