just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize