Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
