that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
