Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
