Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize