Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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