i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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