her vagine was all disorganized.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
