he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
