So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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