so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
