I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Randomize