im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I will be naked everywhere
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
