Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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