Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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