oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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