I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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