So drunk its hurt
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
