Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
