I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize