She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
