Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
