She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
