Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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