yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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