How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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