You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
